Cannonball! Book #8 is V. Serious!

CANNONBALL READ 2011
BOOK #8: Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi

It was a strange and ironic jump to go from the laughable, calorie-counting escapades of Bridget Jones to the dark and cautionary memoir of Portia de Rossi's decades-long battle with eating disorders. Unbearable Lightness is, at times, both horrifying and inspiring--and if you've ever known anyone with an eating disorder, all too familiar.

While I flew through the book (de Rossi is a wonderful writer and storyteller), I couldn't help but be filled with a sense of frustration. Though having an eating disorder is no mark of one's intelligence, I kept thinking, "How stupid are you?! What moron behaves in this way??" The time and attention to detail that de Rossi spent on portioning her food and counting calories, and the ridiculous acts of extreme exercise and self-punishment are so unbelievable, you can't help but think that there is a lack of brains going on there. However (and this is extremely important to remember), anorexia and bulimia are diseases--it's not about not being smart enough, it's something you have to treat and cure.

de Rossi flashes back and forth (though it reads seamlessly) between her growing up in Australia-- attempting to be teenage model--and her career in L.A.--beginning with her landing the part of Nelle Porter on "Ally McBeal." I wasn't a big follower of the show (lawyer-talk bored me), but I do remember all the controversy surrounding the skeletal thinness of Calista Flockhart; I never seemed to hear anything about her costars. It seems, however, that de Rossi was going through an extraordinarily hard part of her life.

The book isn't completely sad, though: the epilogue is a reminder (both to the reader and de Rossi) that we can have happy endings. Hers took a lot of work on her part, but it also helped that she was able to come to terms with her sexuality (part of the reason behind her disorder and self-image) and find love.

That's the only tie I can really give you for posting this on Valentine's Day (happy heart day!), but regardless: it's an important book to read, whether you have or have not known someone with an eating disorder. It has a lot to say about how we treat ourselves and what we let happen to our bodies--we are worth so much more than we realize! We can treat ourselves better.

So, I urge you on this day of love, to remember to have love for yourself! If there's nothing else, it's all we've got.

Bad Cheese, Very Bad

Sorry about the lack of updates--but, it's not from my slacking off!

No, no. This comes from having the worst food poisoning I have ever had, which started on Thursday and left me dehydrated until yesterday (Sunday). Yeah, not awesome at all (though I did lose 6 pounds after the first 15 hours or so...nope, still not awesome). My appetite is finally back, though I'm really mostly craving eggs for some odd reason...

Eggs. Either I'm turning into a dinosaur or I need to reset my protein levels.

Yeah, probably dinosaur.

Om Nom Nom Discoveries

Yesterday--after having worked out and done laundry and being, overall, quite productive--I did some grocery shopping.

Now, I may have mentioned this before, but I love grocery shopping, seriously! I mean, I am quite the fan of food, but I like the imagination boost you I get from taking my piggy self to market. All along the aisles lay possibilities--ideas for dinner parties, birthdays, or just really weird pizza toppings... Ah, heaven!

But, I digress. Still high on my workout endorphins, I was totally excited to buy healthy food! Plus, with the gorgeous weather we had yesterday, the fruit and vegetable stands looked especially tempting. Strawberries, mushrooms, tomatoes on the vine--needless to say, I had an awesome salad for lunch.

I also am beginning to lean towards more organic foods; I found an amazing organic guacamole which, when paired with organic baked corn chips, makes for quite the healthy snack. Plus, if you get the chance to watch the documentary "The Future of Food" (view it for free on Hulu), you'll be amazed at what's been happening to our produce, as far as genetic modification goes--foods that have been legally labeled as organic are some of the few that don't have weird science going on inside their DNA structures.

Another documentary I recently viewed (and also available on Hulu) is "Super Size Me," Morgan Spurlock's filmed 30-day McDonald's binge. Now, don't worry, I'm not getting obsessive about what I'm eating (and I won't lie, McD's still sounds awesome, to a point), but it's fascinating when you really take the time to see what we put into our food and, therefore, our bodies.

For example, eating a bagel is equivalent to eating 5 slices of bread--way more than should be eaten in one sitting! As an alternative to this, I've discovered Bagel Thins--and yes, they are as awesome as you can imagine. Only 110 calories and with 5 grams of fiber, these slices of toasted excellence are a great way (especially when adding on low-fat cream cheese) to get fill that bagel craving without eating enough bread for 3 people.

*I should probably mention, once again, that I am not paid by any corporation/company to promote their products. I just like talking about what I like. Don't sue!*

Bagels, guacamole, cream cheese--it is possible to eat what you like and have it taste real, without suffering the consequences. It may take a little more time to prepare, but real food tastes better and is better for you!

And on that note, I'm feeling peckish for a plum. Yum!

Hi There, Remember Me?

Once upon a time, a girl started a blog.

She was pretty good about updating it, but a few months in she had a (of many) quarter-life crisis. Yeah, it would totally be one of many... But, regardless! Then, just as she was super bummed out and searching for new jobs (shock!) in new cities (awe!) and considering going back to being a brunette (gasp!), things started to turn around.

Moral of the story, the First: Things get better.
Moral of the story, the Second: It helps to be prepared to mix things up.

I'm not sure if anyone still reads this, but whether or not they do, I'm going to start updating again. I recently obtained an awesome new day job and even more recently (read: three days ago) was offered a contract for a summer performance job! Today I went to the gym for the first time in months--yikes--and have revamped my eating habits. I am starting to love salads--wha?!

Don't worry, bacon's still my buddy, we're just in a long-distance relationship.

So, once again, I find myself starting over--and that's ok. I forgive myself for my slip ups, and that's important; you can't move forward until you let go of what's happened in the past.

It's a new day, and I'm on an awesome path :) And it certainly helps that I've got a ukulele and frozen yogurt to keep me going. Little victories.

I'm back!

The Walt Disney World Marathon 2010

Well, my goodness!

A week has passed since the Disney Marathon and I am feeling good :) There is so much to say, so I will try to recount as much as possible without boring the poo out of you:

My sister and I got up at 3:00 AM and started getting ready for the race (dressing, stretching, applying copious amounts of Body Glide), each of us freaking out in our own way. I used the purple Sharpie provided by Disney in our marathon gift bags to do a little something I used to do in college: I wrote adjectives on my body. With the idea that there is a connection and strength between mind and body, the thought that what we say can affect how we feel, I occasionally write on myself to help that along (see What the Bleep Do We Know?! to understand more).

"Powerful" on each thigh. "Strong" (with a 3-circle Mickey) on my core.

The words are almost faded, but are a fun reminder of what I did a week ago.

Anyway, by 4:00 AM, we caught the Monorail to take us to the race starting site. Everyone on the train with us looked just as excited and cold--and when I say cold, I mean cold. Hoth cold.

It was 27 degrees and all the layers we were wearing did very little for warmth. It was actually quite funny, people in hardcore running gear wrapped in trash bags and Mylar, bathrobes and towels. A DJ blasted music that I bobbed along to in an attempt to stay warm.

And don't even get me started on how chilly the Porta-Potties were. It was no wonder that as soon as the race began, you could see runners peeling off to pee on the edge of the trees!

It was around this time, waiting in line to freeze our butts off, that my dear sister kindly and encouragingly told me, "This is the WORST idea ever."

Ahh, sweet sister! But it was all in good fun--especially since she recently told me she's considering doing another marathon, yay!

Anywho, as the race really got started, there were fireworks and music and Mickey and the gang to welcome us to the starting line! As our massive corral (the Tsunami, they called us) crossed the start, our D-Tags were activated. Attached to our shoelaces, the D-Tags are how the timing was recorded for each individual racer; it was also great to walk through the parks later and see people with their D-Tags still attached.

My sister and I started the race together, which was really important to me. Even though I knew we wouldn't be running the whole thing together, it was really good that we starting out by running across the starting line together :) This won't be the last race we do together, but more on that later.

It really was something to run in the cold, dark morning. Racewalkers, joggers, couples, groups. Everyone was excited--if not freezing! As I had mentioned earlier, there were a lot of layers that got thrown to the side as everyone started to get a little warmer; however, just as quickly as someone would ditch a sweatshirt, someone else would pick it up and put it on!

The mile markers were big lit signs with the elapsed time shown in front of them. People stopped to get their pictures in front of them; Disney provides you with a disposable camera, which is very nice of them considering how many photo opportunities there are along the way for great pictures! There are princesses and pirates and Pluto, too, all ready to take a picture with you as you run through the various parks.

Epcot, the first park you come across, was my favorite to run through, since it was still dark. Crowds of people who were brave enough to come out this early were cheering us on throughout the entire race, but it was really something to see them at the entrance to Epcot. Running past Spaceship Earth (aka the Big Golf Ball) with an inspiring orchestral score blasting out of the speakers was unbelievable.

The rest of the race is kind of blurry. It was freezing (the ground near the water/Powerade stations was icy), and running on the long stretches of highway was pretty tough. It was a huge help to have the ChEAR Team shouting encouraging words to us, and every time I got really tired, there was a marching band playing "Eye of the Tiger" or the Central Florida Accordion Club playing Polka music!

I really hit the wall around Mile 10; my hip, which had bothered me during the early weeks of training, did not do well in the cold weather. I kept myself going by setting mini goals: Just make the next big mile cut--and I did. Just make it to the Magic Kingdom--and I ran through Cinderella Castle. Just make it to my parents, who were waiting to see us run past at mile 12.5--and I saw them, and cried, and was ready to call it a day.

Even when I could barely shuffle along, there was such an overwhelming amount of support, from my family and total strangers and the wonderful people at Walt Disney World. I went as far as I could, and then (truly) happily limped back to the hotel room with my Mom and Dad.

A hot shower that drained the Atlantic Ocean and some cashews and water kept me going while the folks went to go see my sister cross the finish line. Not too long after they left the room, though, I heard a rustling outside the door: It was my sister, wrapped in warming Mylar and wearing a Mickey-shaped medal! Although my parents missed seeing her cross the finish line, I was really excited that I got to see her first :) Even though she was nasty gross with salt caked to her forehead, I was so proud of her and so glad that she finished her first marathon!

The rest of our stay down in Walt Disney World was wonderful, filled with good food, great rides, and a crap-ton of painkillers! Everywhere we went there were people wearing their medals, limping with pride. I really was so pleased and proud of myself for my accomplishment: even if I didn't finish the marathon, I ran a half marathon for my first race and trained my butt off!

As soon as I was back in the hotel room, all I could think of was how I couldn't wait for next year. And in the mean time, I'll be running some other races--my sister and I are already getting ready to sign up for the Peachtree Roadrace in July, and she's got a half marathon coming up in March!

These past four months have been so rewarding; even when I was achy and tired and ready to quit, I kept going (despite many whiny posts), and last week was incredible.

I intend to keep posting (much more frequently) in this blog, especially with all the upcoming races, and I am looking forward to attempting new challenges and pushing myself to meet new goals.

Thank you for sticking with me, and I hope you continue to do so as I find out what new adventures are in store for me! Maybe I've amused you, maybe I've bored you, maybe I've even inspired you to go try a challenge of your own, but I really do hope that regardless of what this blog may have done for you, you remember its title, and the reason behind it:

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

Thanks, everyone.

With A Side of Ennui

I've felt really unmotivated lately, and that's not good.

I don't know if it's because the weather up here has been gross, or because I have a cold, or because some form of paralyzing fear has set in, but training feels like a chore lately.

I mean, getting ready to walk/run was never an activity that made me jump for joy, but I used to be excited to go train. This week I dread getting out of bed.

I've got way more time in the morning to train (because of my lovely holiday job), so it's not for lack of sleep or from exhaustion. I'm just feeling completely blergh about it all.

This feeling scares the crap out of me, of course, because there's a little less than 5 weeks left to go (holy poop!) and next week I'm supposed to run 20 miles!

I really need to jump start my system and get excited again. I mean, I am excited to do the marathon, I just feel very detached from it at the moment.

One thing I might do (which I've done before) is youtube/google the Disney Marathon; some past runners have recorded themselves running it, and seeing what they've done helps me to clear my mind about the whole race.

It also makes me a huge nerd, but hey, that's not a surprise at this point.

I suppose the simplest solution is just to get up, get out, and get moving.

Blergh.

Safety Dance

Bet you thought I would be blogging about the New York Marathon, huh?

Well, sadly, my schedule has been so insane that all I've been able to see/hear about the marathon is that a man from the United States won it for the first time in a long time. Ah, so informative am I!

You see, while everyone else may have been following that particular sporting event, I have been trying not to injure myself, and have kind of failed, in a somewhat spectacular fashion.

A couple days ago, I tripped down some stairs. Awesome.
My eyes have been freaking out so I haven't been able to wear my contacts for a week. Score.
Yesterday, I had a gig for work and had to wear heels for hours. Whoohoo.
I woke up with a sore throat and stuffy nose. Party.

Yes, readers, I am simply made of not-awesome when it comes to being not-injured.

And now I'm going off to run with red eyes, a bruised heel, blisters, and boogies.

How much do you want me, right now?

Holly Potter and the Week of Off-Trackness

My goodness, I have been a bad dobby with my posts lately!

After receiving an email from my sister today ("New post! New post! New post!"), I had the feeling that I should probably update this blog. After all, I did promise an entry about snobby runners.

Sadly, though, you won't get to see that entry until tomorrow, after my run.

I know, I know: you were all waiting with great anticipation for it, but you'll have to wait a few hours more!

Tonight's brief entry is just that: brief.

It's been a pretty tough week for me, so I made an executive decision and skipped two days of running. The result? My hip feels worlds better and I have a renewed sense of determination (since now, I really have to step things up).

The joint is still a bit achy and one of my eye's has been freaking out (unrelated to training) and I have never been more tired, but it's all good my friends, because I am getting this runaway train back on the tracks tomorrow!

So, choo choo, gentle readers. Choo choo, and good night--I'll see you bright and shiny tomorrow morning!

Bring it on.

I Wish I Had Bionic Woman Legs

...Then again, were her legs bionic? Because, if not, then I don't want them. I know she had a bionic arm. I think.

Tangent, sorry!

Anyway: I am definitely feeling training pains as of late. My hip joint is still being a little monster, and today it started affecting my knee. Thankfully, I didn't feel this until I was walking home from my workout.

I am sure that my being exhausted comes from training in the morning and then working/being on my feet for 8-9 hours; however, this situation will be changing soon.

As I need to be going soon, I will save my explanation for the next post, and hopefully learn to stop writing about how exhausted I am, as I am sure it is terribly boring!

As a means of apology for a--once again--boring entry, I bring you this:

Two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 75 yards up the trail. The bear spies them and begins running toward them at a full gallop. One hiker drops his backpack, sits down, throws off his boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes. The other hiker says: "What are you doing? You will never outrun that bear!". The first hiker replies: "I don't have to outrun the bear..."

Wokka wokka wokka!

iPhone and iTired and iEat Trail Mix Oh My!

Well, gentle readers, I deliver my apologies. Yesterday I was supposed to give you a fun post that wasn't laced with professions of my exhaustion. Instead, you got no post at all!

Well, I aim to rectify this situation; the following blog entry will be explosively awesome!
It will at least have more than five sentences.

Lately, I have been stretching more intensely than I usually have. My muscles have been much more tense and sore (I'm sure a combination of increasing miles and colder weather), but I'm hoping that stretching and Advil will make the ugh-feelings go away.

Also, I downloaded a fantastic application for my iPhone a few weeks ago! I have mentioned MapMyRun before, but did you know that it has an application for iPhone? It does, and now I shall elaborate on it: MapMyRun for iPhone has GPS tracking, so you can chart your pace, average speed, and distance while you run/walk/bike, etc!

You can then save your data and have it sent to your online MapMyRun account, and so begin further documenting your progress! Though the application isn't entirely accurate--after all, it's an iPhone being tracked by GPS--it is a fun way to (kind of) keep track!

In other Holly news: I have gotten madly into trail mix, all kinds. Sweet and spicy with cayenne pepper, decadent with dark chocolate, super crunchy with soy nuts.

Especially on days when I don't have time to get a real lunch/dinner during work, trail mix has been my nutty savior. Full of protein and good fats and berries, oh my! I recommend trail mix to those of you who feel too busy to pack real lunches during the work day or need a quick treat to beat hunger.

Call it scroggin, gorp, or "hippie stuff"--just have an open mind, and try your own variations :) It's really quite delightful!

Zawsted!

I gotta say, this week has not been easy.

Between running and work, I am beat.

Tomorrow you'll get a much more informative post, one that isn't this boring.

Yikes! I need a nap.

Scary-thon

Today marks the beginning of Week 4 of the training plan (only 13 weeks to go--yikes!), and this is where it starts getting harder.

Not to say that the weeks leading up to this haven't been somewhat hard, but this is where I'll really have to start pushing myself, as the mileage begins to increase significantly. I also need to be more careful about what I'm eating and drink a whole lot more water each day. I over-carbed yesterday and whoa, was I tired when I woke up this morning.

I'm not going to lie, when I think about the task the lies ahead, I get pretty scared. Even though my mind has yet to wrap around the fact that this is 26.2 miles that I will be running, I'm still (obviously) aware of the craziness that is a marathon. Eee.

Eeeeee.

Eeeeeeeee.

I also need to be really careful about not getting injured at work. Running a few miles and then being on my feet for nearly 9 hours does not a happy Holly make; I have also (in the past) hurt my heels and ankles at work, due to some precarious wooden steps.

I also may or may not have slipped and fallen on my butt a few times. But, never you mind.

I also should stop writing "also" so much. It's beginning to look strange.

But, regardless, I just need to really be careful: to stretch more, to allow more time, to be better to myself, because now is where the real challenge begins.

Eee.

Some Observations

1) I pushed my power walk pace to 14:15 and my running pace to 11:30 without getting totally exhausted, and feel even better about the possibility of me not passing out during the marathon!

Dos) I met yet another person who has run a marathon (the one in Chicago). It's really encouraging to know that, even though a marathon is still a huge feat of strength and a major undertaking, regular people do it and survive!

C) I am beginning to see muscle definition in my chubby calves--hooray!

IV) I have been trying out different foods to eat before I run (since I don't usually like to eat before working out). I've done yogurt and granola and will soon be trying bananas with peanut butter.

Five) I love my running tights so much--they reduce jiggle like nobody's business.

J-E-L-L-O-No-mo(re).

Quickie 4

Sorry for the wait, folks! It's been a busy week, so here's what's up:

1) This has not been my strongest week; I've been pretty exhausted between training and work.

2) My hip joint is bothering me less, but still, boo.

3) I'm starting to not hate fake bacon. Fakeon. Facon. Whatever.

I am sure, however, that the moment I taste real bacon again, I will cry with happiness.

Sigh.

Whee, Progress!

Today marks the end of the first week of training, bringing my sister and me ever closer to the big finish in January!

I must admit, when I got started today, all I could think was how I haven't really been able to run for more than a few minutes at a time (not to mention, my right hip-leg joint has been bothering me). But, I decided to try a new method: I would power walk for a few minutes (no slower than a 15 minute mile) and then run for one or two at a 12 minute mile pace.

This helped me so much! Using this method, I'll be able to work up to power walking for a couple minutes and running for at least five, and then switch to running entirely. See, just when I'm feeling down, I realize that not all hope is lost.

Also exciting news: I bought a scale and have finally started tracking my weight. I must be nuts to put it out here in the open, but it doesn't sound embarrassing when I think about the fact that I'll be making such progress.

Now, I've never been obese, but I've never been the healthiest weight I should (except for that time in 8th grade when I had the stomach flu and mouth/sinus surgery within weeks of each other--I looked awesome).

When I first moved up here, I was around 180 lbs, the heaviest I've ever been. This was a result of senior year stress, auditions, and discovering McDonald's chicken sandwiches. Mmm.

When I went home for a few doctor's appointments at the end of August, I was down to 167.

Today I weighed 160 lbs.

Seriously, I could not be happier to type that number; even knowing that total strangers and good friends will be completely aware of how much I weigh doesn't bother me. I have come a long way and am so excited to think of where I'll be in January:

Healthier, a runner, the right weight, and (oh yeah) in Disney World.

Whee!

Power of Speech

For those of you unfamiliar with What the Bleep Do We Know?! or Masaru Emoto's studies on the messages of water, these next few sentences will sound like crazy talk--but give it a chance!

Masaru Emoto has published a number of books that discuss the power of human thought on physical matter, specifically on water and water crystals. His work is somewhat controverisal, but astounding: water that had angry thoughts directed towards it had its crystals develop into ugly, blob-like shapes, whereas water with kind and loving thoughts directed towards it produced brilliant and bright crystals.

The proof of the study is in Emoto's photographs, which are really beautiful and definitely mind-boggling; they are visual proof of the power of human thought.

Which brings me to my point, a point made in What the Bleep: if thoughts can transform water crystals, and the human body is around 70% water, then our thoughts can transform our bodies.

In other words, the power of positive thinking is actually really important--and sometimes all you need to push through that last mile. I even believe in writing key words on myself to give me that extra boost.

Strong. Fast. Ready.

It's really something to watch simple words turn into actual results.

A Day of Rest

That's what Fridays are for (in the training plan): resting.

I figured that I could sleep in today, relax my muscles, take it easy--you know the drill.
However, I found that instead of making me feel rested, not going to the gym made me restless.

Is it possible? Am I actually craving working out? Have I started to enjoy it?

Go ahead and play the "Twilight Zone" theme, folks, because it's true: I kind of sort of maybe am liking this whole marathon training thing. Whatever.

But, in all seriousness, this is a great thing to know for those of you who are not keen on gymming it: after a week of sweating your butt off, exercising begins to become fun. The endorphins are awesome and you really do feel the extra energy all throughout the day! It's beginning to look like I might keep up this whole running thing, even after the marathon is done.

But not before I eat, like, 12 turkey legs in Epcot.

Quickie 3

Just a few words to explain my progress thus far:

My side butt muscles hurt.

I had no idea that they could.

Hmm.

It Begins!

Long time no post! (At least by my standards.)

But, yes, it's true: the 16 week training plan has officially begun, as of yesterday! Every time I think about that/say it, I realize how much shorter 16 weeks sounds as opposed to "4 months" or "in January." However, feeling as though the time will pass more quickly is actually exciting--though I am not even close to being ready, I really can't wait to do this.

So, yesterday (as every Monday will be) was a cross-training day, this one being on a 0-30 minute track. I only learned a couple days ago from my sister that Mondays are optional rest days (hence, the zero), but I think I will only use that option as a last resort--I'm going to need as much training as I can get!

For my first cross-training day, I opted to do 30 minutes of my Bollywood Dance Workout DVD. It's really good for increasing flexibility and strength, not to mention working your core.

Speaking of working your core, boy, did I work that today. Today was an easy 3-4 mile day. I decided to power walk at a 15 minute mile pace (thus completing 3 miles in 45 minutes), because I have never walked/ran for that long a period of time. My legs didn't get worn out and my lungs were able to handle it just fine: it was my core that got tired and had occasional cramping.

This is where the cross training becomes extremely important. You could have ridiculously strong legs and still not be able to handle a marathon unless your upper body and your core were strong, too. Running with proper form means all your body needs to work together to its best ability, especially if you're going to keep it in constant motion for 4-5 hours. Eeep.

Back to me, though: today was really important for my mental marathon. I stayed at the same pace for 45 minutes, and didn't let myself slow down or take a break during my 3 miles. Soon, I'll be able to cover 4 and a half miles in that same time--and that doesn't seem so daunting a task anymore.

It might just be the endorphins coursing through my system, but I'm pretty sure this whole thing is going to turn out awesome.

Yay!

Feeling Good

There really is something amazing about the way you feel after working out.

The endorphins kick in, and, instead of feeling tired after the gym, I feel energized and excited! I am really happy that I've gotten to the point where working out is enjoyable--it still takes a while for me to force myself to pull on my shoes and go, but by the time I leave my apartment, I am eager as can be.

After going to the gym, I also feel more motivated to do other things: I want to eat healthier, I want to take care of errands. This is probably why I prefer going to the gym first thing in the morning; that way, my whole day starts off right and I am energized to boot.

Even if I don't accomplish anything else major during the day, I feel as though I have done something really good for myself, and that goes a long way!

And so, on that note, I go forth to be productive and buy a book (the new Dan Brown one--whee!) and walk about Manhattan with this lovely burst of energy.